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Online dating or you
may say Internet Dating is very famous these
days and becoming more and more popular because of its
convenience and advantages. The first and foremost advantage
from dating online is that you can contact matches
without revealing your real identity avoiding the embarrassment
if doesn't work out. You may meet the people you would otherwise
never get the chance to encounter. Dating online allows you to
learn about person's qualities and attributes through the
conversation. Since you are not seeing each other, it gives the
chance to both of you to reveal the thoughts and feelings
without feeling awkward or embarrassed.
But although with so many good
qualities, it is not always safe to date
online as you are not seeing anybody but only reading the
thoughts.
"Seeing is Believing" but while on net, the person you
are talking to is not visible. What is visible is his/her words,
which could be true or fake and you cannot just believe
them. So while with lots of advantages it has, there are certain
discrepancies too. That is why there should be some tips
following which could help you in being a great match and going
for a safe dating. These ideas may bring you those issues which never
appeared to you or you would have never thought of seriously and thus help
you in making the right judgment about yourself and about the person you are dating
with.
Online
Dating or Internet Dating has advantages!!!
Interesting to know. If you're a man, you have probably been to bars and clubs and
other social places looking looking for a match. Isn't it a tough task, with lots of rejection,
embarrassment and failure? And then probably you would have thought about packing it in on more than a few
occasions.
And if you are a lady, I am sure you would have received a lot of unwanted advances from guys too drunk to even mumble
coherently, born losers or people who simply don't interest you at all.
That's a reality. At such times dating online would be such a relief to you. It is a ticket to your happier dating and long
term relationships. If its just for fun, you still can go ahead without feeling
embarrasses or shy.
Whereas an inability to predict chemistry is perhaps one of the most limiting aspects of online dating, the advantages to
this medium as a way of finding, introducing, and developing a relationship are significant and numerous. The increasing
popularity of online dating is evidence to the multiple advantages.
* The first and foremost advantage of online dating is that
it requires very few resources: a computer, an Internet connection, and time. You just have to position yourself among the available and be in touch with like-minded singles. It is
therefore accessible to anyone and anywhere.
* Since it is accessible from anywhere and anytime, you really
do not have to scrub up yourself and make it on time to make
that first impression. You can do so from the comfort of your bed or dinning table or in a messy family area. No fear of
being rejected or getting embarrassed. In fact if you feel that you are not that good looking, you can impress the opposite sex
with your witty emails and thoughtful replies.
* The net makes things simpler. Online dating offers you the freedom, flexibility and time to pick and choose who you want to
date. Online Services allows you to search thousands of singles and discover the best matches for yourself. Take a breeze
through some of the profiles on a large dating site and you will be
surprised at the sheer variety of people who are actively looking. From Lawyer's to lumberjacks, everybody seems represented.
* Posting a profile on the dating sites is a major advantage to the method of introduction.
Profiling allows users to limit their search to include the those matching criteria that are absolutely vital in their future partner. Criteria such as
location, age, etc. can be accurately limited.
* While dating online, schedules and geography are no
limitations. Many online dating services provides the facility of
limiting searches to driving distances. They gives the options to select regions, areas, countries throughout the world. So
you can find your best match from any part of the world without even leaving your room.
* Other than the advantage of sheer number of people you have access to online, you also have the
advantage of having variety of ways to interact with these
people. The various internet dating sites provides a wide range of services and features chat
rooms where conversations can range from favorite movies to common internet dating experiences; and interactive unique games
where you can play with that special someone to spark that online dating connection. Some of them also have advanced features
like voice/video greeting. With features like these you stand a far better chance of finding that special someone than you
would by placing a 5 line letter in a newspaper personals or in the social parties.
* With online dating, you are not restricted to just conversing with one
person. Keep interested in several people and get to know them via email before committing to that first phone conversation, or first date.
* The relative cost of meeting someone online versus those of more conventional methods is advantageous enough to warrant its
own heading. Most of the dating services provide free membership to begin with. You can even post your personals free of
charge. Even when its paid membership, it is not very
expensive.
* The internet dating has another major advantage of overcoming the fear of
rejection. While rejection can still be painful online, an e-mail with “I’m sorry, I’m not interested”--or none at all--is much easier to receive than in-person rejection.
The risks of saying the wrong thing are also lessened, and disgust returned over an e-mail or instant message requires much
less self-esteem recovery than a look of disgust, slap in the face, or other potentially nasty face-to-face public display.
* The last but not the least and most important one advantage of online dating is
safety. Given the anonymity of the Internet and the tools provided with most online dating services to limit
undesirable contact, safety must be recognized as a significant advantage to online dating over many traditional means of meeting partners.
With so many advantages of internet dating, you would definitely
want to go ahead with it. But we would also love to tell you some of the
online dating safety tips you should keep in mind to have a risk free dating.
Online dating
or Internet Dating is very popular these days. But while
dating online has the advantages in its own, over the period of time this has been misused and is corrupted by many
disadvantages. Online Dating is fun and convenient but still one has to be very
careful while dating with someone over the net. Here are some tips
following which may help you in safe and sound online dating.
1. Start slow.
While dating over the net, watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by first communicating solely via email. Be on the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
2. Guard Your Anonymity. Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or initial emails you exchange with other members. Make sure your email signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding with a
member via your own email. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for this information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing any personal contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective.
3. Exercise Caution and Common Sense. Careful, well-thought decisions generally lead to better results in dating, and this is certainly true with online dating too. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy. Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Your job is to take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person, and pay careful attention along the way. Take a relatively conservative approach to trusting anyone you meet online. If you think someone is lying, it is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move on to someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself and your romances in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.
4. Request a Photo. A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. In fact, it's best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it may be because that person has something to hide. Getting a photo scanned is
not expensive, so there is little excuse for not doing it.
5. Talk Via Telephone. A phone call can reveal much about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out your personal phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead for added security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay phone. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
6. Meet When YOU Are Ready. The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can gradually collect information and then make a choice about pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It's possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can't logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your gut instincts, even when they can't be logically explained. Never meet someone who argues against your instincts, finds logical flaws with your feelings or pressures you in any way.
7. Watch for Red Flags. Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:
- Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
- Refuses to speak to you over the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
- Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
- Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona.
- Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.
8. Select the Safest Possible Environment. When you make the choice to meet offline, always tell someone where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with that person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many people are present, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present is often a fine choice. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.
9. Take Extra Caution Outside Your Area. If you are flying in from another area, arrange for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date at that location, or leave a message on a home machine. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
10. Get Yourself Out of a Jam. Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in danger call the police. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft on the Web, you'll also find them in nightclubs, among the membership ranks of off-line dating services, at cocktail parties, and occasionally sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free activity. A little caution will reduce your risk in these matters of the heart.
Using
Chat On Dating Sites
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Internet dating is
very famous these days. The integral part of this dating is Chatting
online. But chatting with somebody unknown is not as simple
or risk free as it is with your friend. One has to be really
careful about it and consider this before going ahead:
- Before
you begin to chat, take a moment to view the conversations
and get a feel for the atmosphere in the room.
- Introduce
yourself and greet everyone in the room. A simple
"Hello Everyone" is a great way to start.
- Don't
gossip. It seldom casts a flattering light upon you.
- Use
chat rooms and tools to your advantage. "Ignore"
anyone who
is disruptive.
- Expression
is an important part of chat. Familiarize yourself with emotions
and other chat expressions to look and feel like a pro.
- Select
a certain day, time, and chat room to meet your friends each
week.
- Once
you establish a group forum, vary the location of your
meetings to allow others to participate.
- Host
your own chat events.
Personal
Profiles on Dating Sites
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- Use an uncommon or striking
headline: The Personal Profile should not be a professional but
avoid boring demographic descriptions like "SF Seeks SM for LTR."
Instead, try to make it bit interesting and lively. Be daring! Elicit an emotion! Express yourself!
- Personal Description:
Make your profile interesting describing yourself and also
what you are looking for in your potential partner. For
interesting and the right personal profile, you need to be
totally honest in writing up. For that first make a list of
things you like to put in and are important for you. The
other thing you need to be careful is to make
sure the description is not lengthy but up to the point so
that the other person does not get bore while reading it.
It should be in such a way and long enough that the visitor
gets all the information in the first few lines.
- Proofread. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are as important as content. Think of the presentation of your message as a way of dressing for a date. While clothes don't make the man (or woman), no one wants to appear shoddy or unkempt.
- Say it with
style. What you say may not be as important as how you say it. Play with words. Write poetry. Tell a story.
- Be less-than
perfect. Regardless of the style you choose or the language you use to express yourself, be careful not to extol your many virtues to the point of boredom, or even suspicion. No one can be that perfect. Your minor faults and charming inconsistencies make you human, interesting and approachable.
- Avoid sending up red
flags. Don't whine, complain or drivel on about any problems in your life. Refrain from casting yourself in the role of the victim, the egregiously wronged, or the emotionally mortally wounded. Be positive and optimistic.
Red Flags Of Online
Dating
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Online Dating, in a medium where faith in a potential partner is being put at an all-time
high risk, it is important to know if you're stepping blindly. If you're considering an online
dating, or are currently in one, there are a few things you should be prepared to look out for. While each situation is unique, and it is important to go by your instinct, the following list should help you spot any red flags you might encounter.
RED FLAG#1: Personal Information
If the person is sharing or asking
for personal information in the very first few meetings, that
should be considered seriously. No matter how friendly the
person is, considering online dating a little bit unsafe, one
should in no case share or force the partner to share the
personal information. Who knows if there is any truth in what is
being shown to you. So always be on safe side and never disclose
the personal information unless you are satisfied with your
partner's information. Also don't send your photos. To be on safe side, while chatting or
talking use some fake or made up name and also the email address
should also be fake.
RED FLAG#2: No solid contact number
They do not have any solid contact numbers. If any of the following situations sound familiar, be prepared to further investigate the possibility of a situation you may not be aware of.
a) You progressed to contact them over the phone, but the problem is you can't ever contact them!
b) You have to page them for them to call you back. Only they
will call you but you cannot.
c) They use a separate line. If so, try calling their main line at random times.
d) You can only call during certain periods of time. Again, if this applies to you, try calling at different time periods to see who answers the phone.
RED FLAG#3: Asks for money
Since you are dating only online, your relationship is not that deep yet that your date
should ask for financial help. Asking for funds may destroy the
relationship which could become a long lasting relationship in
future. If
you or your date asks for money, it may show that the person's financial
condition is not very sound which may push you away from your
partner. Avoid getting into financial trouble by following a simple rule;
"don't lend or borrow money".
RED FLAG#4: The efforts to continue the
relationship
Are you the only one making an effort in altering your lifestyle to have this
dating relationship ongoing? Do you notice no efforts on other's
part? This is a telltale sign of things to come if you develop an off-line romance.
You should be aware of the fact that no relationship exists for
long with solely one person's efforts. If you find this happening to you, talk about it to your partner and ask them to meet you half way in your efforts.
RED FLAG#5: Feeling of Insecurity
Is your potential partner is overly insecure about your off-line or online
activities? Just as in any relationship, a person who is overly insecure about something can end up being an emotionally draining experience. Take a
step back, and really look at whether this is something you're willing to put up with if the relationship happened to last two to three years. If not, move on and find someone more
independent.
RED FLAG#6: Eager to get married
If you think
that your potential partner wants to get married too bad, think
about it seriously. His/Her eagerness to marry may be a sign of
loneliness, rejection or feelings of resentment toward others.
Such individuals sometimes marry to get out of their home or to
avoid loneliness. However, they will often carry their past
baggage with them into a marriage. It is suggested that couples
take their time and not rush into marriage. Date a while and
really get to know each other. RED FLAG#7: Pressure
for Sex
One of the biggest warning signs while dating is when
someone is constantly pressuring the person they are dating to
have sex. If your date pushes you for sexual favors, this is one
of the biggest red flags. If you are uncomfortable with a person's
advances, communicate that with him/her. You need to know each
other more before stepping into such relationship. Their
response will tell you how much they care about you. If they
continue pressuring you, they are just disregarding your beliefs
and values.
RED FLAG#8: Reality VS. Fantasy
There are many different viewpoints towards a dating relationship founded through the Internet. To save future hurt and embarrassment, make sure you know your potential partner's philosophies. Do they view an Internet
dating as a real relationship, or is it a way to live out a fantasy life? If it's the later, be careful to avoid being their latest cyber fling.
Remember, any dating relationship will have its red flags. If you're really ready for a
relationship or interested in developing one, you'll be able to spot them, handle them and get on with your life with little or no loss.
Are you a perfect date?
OR Have you found a match of your choice? Have you
ever wondered why its difficult for you to find a person of your
dreams?
If you've ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your
perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is
YOU are offering. To get a good partner, you have
to be a great match first. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your dateability.
Are you happy?
If you are always happy with positive thoughts, you are a
perfect match. People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you're not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it! Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for.
Do you have future goals, dreams or desires?
A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector's piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person.
And we would love to be close to such person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.
Are you financially stable?
While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you're not in a comfortable financial
position now, you wont be able to concentrate on and keep your
date happy as it should be. Think of the ways to increase your
monetary flow. You'll feel happier, and be a better match, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.
What are you doing for yourself?
If you aren't engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests, you may be giving signals that you
are a boring date. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a
relationship, keep your relationship lively and also keep your
date actively interested in you.
Do you feel you may be overly critical or negative towards other people or life?
Nobody likes negative comments or criticism even if they are true. If you are a happy person with live attitude and always appreciating other peoples efforts and their point of view, you will be the best person and a
perfect match for your partner. Presenting negative comments in the positive way is a plus point to your
personality in winning a heart.
Do you say "my ex" more than 5 times a day?
What's done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, don't give off signs that you're still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Don't let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.
Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)?
The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven't already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out
why it ended and what the alternatives could have been to make
it better.
Do you know what you want in a your partner?
If you haven't taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.
Also remember nobody is perfect, somewhere adjustment is needed
from both the ends.
Do you feel you may be too insecure?
If you are dating with a person of your choice, are you giving him/her enough space to breathe? If you do not give space to your partner to breathe and feel insecure that you will lose him/her if left alone, then you are mistaken. Your partner would always appreciate the sense of freedom you have in mind and will always stay close to you.
Would you date you?
Is it not an interesting question? But it is a very important
issue to think about. Try to answer it, "Would
you date 'YOU'?" Think of the qualities you would like to
have in your partner and also of those which you don't want. Your yes/no
to those qualities and attributes would be the answer and will help you in being a better person
by quitting and accepting the right ones and thus a better a match.
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